Please take a moment to check out this blog: Fighting 4 My Life. Jen is a former coworker of mine and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Now, because of problems with our current health care system, she may need to stop her chemo treatments.

Please spread the word about Jen and people just like her. People should not have to choose between bankruptcy and death. And call your representatives and let them know about Jen, too. This needs to stop NOW.

Dad's back in the hospital. Chemo is killed off all his blood cells again. He's debating whether to continue.

I'm not pregnant. Again. And won't be trying until after tdstraitjacket recovers from the hip replacement.

I am working a gazillion hours in preparation for tdstraitjacket to be off work for up to 8 weeks. OK. Not a gazillion. Just about 70 per week. More than enough.

I'm not sure how I am going to make it through this week. I had a dentist appointment today. I am visiting Dad now. I still need to go grocery shopping and do some housework/rearranging before the surgery.

I work a 24 tomorrow.

I have a chiropractor's appointment and a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I work the back half of the 24.

I'm off Thursday. Spending time with the hubby and more work on the house.

24 Friday.

Off Saturday. Getting ready for the church service on Sunday, more work on the house, possibly getting to spend time with krisravenna, maybe a party Saturday night, but more than likely collapsing and going to bed really early.

Co-leading the service on Sunday for National Coming Out Day. Which reminds me - I need to get the order of service info in today. And I am working the back half Sunday night and the front half Monday. Tuesday is the surgery.

I still have to prepare for the church service on Sunday. And I need to work on the Samhain ritual. And a million other little things.

My head hurts. My sinuses are killing me. And I want to sleep for a century or so.

Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. We really need it right now.

I will be completely offline (starting tomorrow) until probably Tuesday. Not that it matters much to the people here, but I'm covering all my bases. In fact, I am planning on using my cell for its original intended purpose - -phone calls.

I need to detox. I need to remind myself that while I love technology, there are other important things in the world. That my friends do not need a Twitter or Facebook update every 5 minutes.

We are going to see Kevin Smith tomorrow and will be staying in the city. We might do something touristy on Saturday during the day. Saturday night is ritual at church. Sunday is church. And nothing else is planned until I return to work next Thursday.

I need it.

This past week has been hellish in the financial and house-owning areas of my life.

Our phone hasn't been receiving calls, and they think they'll be able to get someone out by Wednesday to fix it. We have had problems with our phone lines about every 6 months since we have moved in. Seriously thinking about going to VOIP.

We received a citation from the town about weeds in the yard... AFTER WE WEEDWHACKED! And the person in charge is not in today or on weekends. And the citation is only half-filled, so we don't know all the details.

I just got a letter saying that our CareCredit card is increasing its rates because we haven't made regular payments. We owe about $30 per month, and we pay $50 EVERY TWO WEEKS! With an extra payment thrown in when we have a little extra!!! I am currently on hold, trying to find out what the fuck is going on!

We have also had problems with our Ashley Furniture account and two medical bills that I had paid months ago. One of the medical bills went into collections and I had a lawyer calling me and saying that we needed to pay it NOW! Ummm... that bill was paid at the beginning of June!

To top everything off, with all the crap that has been going on with my dad and such, I completely blanked on the new car payment until it was due. And you can't pay by credit card over the phone, only check. And I can't get on the website because they have to call me (on the broken house phone only... they won't let me add another phone number) with a PIN. And they charge an additional $14 "convenience fee" for checks by phone, even though it's really not a check, they just need my routing and account numbers to make a debit.

...

Just spoke with a representative from CareCredit, and he says I have a perfect payment record over the last 12 months. He's now speaking to someone else about why my rate should increase. Grrr.....


ETA: They say it's because I have a delinquency with another creditor. The only creditor I have had that keeps trying to show a delinquency is the Ashley account. Even though I make regular payments to them, they have changed their cycle days TWICE, and have completely fucked up my credit!!!! Now I am stuck paying the higher interest, or I have to opt out and pay it off all at once.

I'm cutting up all the credit cards.

ETA: YAY! At least AT&T fixed the phone. After I changed my voice-mail telling everyone who calls and DOES get through what shitty service AT&T has and that they should just call my cell.

Spent the day at the hospital with my dad. He's doing a lot better than he had been, but he will definitely be in there for a few more days. The staff that was on today was nearly useless. They would take forever to get around to answering the call light, and my dad is too weak to do much for himself. He has also had severe diarrhea and is all but incontinent. So, they had to clean him up a couple of times today (and did a crappy job about it, which they got complaints about from me!). I think they were all very happy to see me leave this evening. It always seems that people who are incapable of doing their jobs well always get irritated when asked to do their job at all.

Still haven't gained much insight into my weird dream. I am going to grab some candles and the tarot cards and try to meditate this evening before going to bed. I normally don't like to use any mind-altering substances, but I think I might have a drink or two first. I am so unbelievably tense, and it's been a while since I have done any serious meditation. I need a little something to help me relax.

I had better get going though. I have some clothes that have been sitting on the couch all week, waiting to be put away. And I have to get up early for a chiro appointment. Then to the hospital. Then a health care reform vigil at church tomorrow. Then three days of crazy hours at work. :-(

It would be easier to decipher. Seriously.

If you would have asked me yesterday about safety pins, I would have told you that they were probably first produced during the Industrial Revolution, 18th or 19th century. I would have been shocked to learn otherwise.

Then, I had an odd sort of dream last night. I was walking through some sort of labyrinth and I believe tdstraitjacket was with me. There were little altars dotting the path up on the walls (which were about 4 or 5 feet tall). I couldn't tell who the altars were for, but they all had small bowls that were filled with coins (mostly foreign or ancient) and safety pins (modern-looking). I was trying to figure out why there were safety pins left as offerings to the deities, but before I could make it out, the dream morphed into me and Greg shopping for a refrigerator.

This morning, I do some quick research online and learn that safety pins date back to the Bronze Age. They are called fibula. AND...they are often found in temples where it appears they were left as offerings to the deities.

A little more research shows that they were found in the Temple of Artemis, and depictions of fibula were found on engravings from the Egyptian temples of Ninurta and Enlil. Also, the Assyrian Ishtar/Inanna myth lists a fibula as one of the items she gives up on her descent into the Underworld (which resonates strongly with the labyrinth).

Greg seems sure that this is a fertility message. Especially since most of the deities to whom safety pins were offered have at one point or another been associated with fertility. I pointed out that both Artemis and Ninurta are depicted with bows and arrows, so maybe the message is that I need to take up archery. :-)

If any of my Pagan friends have any ideas, I would love to hear them. I am going to do some more research into this. I am also going to try to find some time to meditate this week. I really don't understand why the deities can't be obvious. I don't do subtle.

In happier news... I bought tickets to Kevin Smith in Chicago in mid-September! Yay!

Friday, we had Marc Adams came to my church and talked a little about his life and journey as the gay son of a Fundamentalist Baptist minister. He is a wonderful speaker, funny, inspirational, and extremely informative. I might have a mild crush on him, mainly because he reminds me of my OB/Gyn AND he was reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. And I have a history of crushing on gay guys. Can't help it.

I bought both of his memoirs (The Preacher's Son and lost(Found) and finished them both in less than a day. They are pretty short and very easy reads, especially the second book. But they were very moving and insightful. I want to buy his the Do's and Don'ts of Dealing With the Religious Right.

Marc Adams is also the founder of HeartStrong, an organization whose mission is to provide hope and support to gays and lesbians who are attending religious schools. This is a small organization that is completely volunteer, ran by two people who spend an awful lot of their own money. To date, they have helped over 1000 people and have traveled over 300,000 miles in an effort to spread information and to get people out of dangerous situations.

Due to the current economy, the funding for their organization has dropped 60%. Marc and his partner are worried that they may not be able to continue their mission. The United States has no laws protecting GLBT students in religious schools, so what they are doing is extremely important. HeartStrong is a small organization without a lot of corporate sponsors, so they need every bit of help they can get.

If you have been thinking of donating money to any organization, check out the HeartStrong website. See what they do and what they are about. Please considering donating to this cause. Every little bit helps. Thanks!

Went camping this weekend, as we are wont to do in July. Spent the weekend with people I care about and people I don't see nearly often enough. Had a fairly laid back year. The weather was a little cooler than I like, with bits of rain on Thursday and Friday. I seemed to have misplaced my SD card, so no pictures were taken.

I did cook up the trout I caught. Over a campfire on Saturday. It came out absolutely delicious!

The weekend was over much too quickly. I'm already counting the days until next year.

Now I must hurry and get ready for church. We are having our science quarterly discussion tonight. I'm still trying to convince the hubby to go, but he dislikes science and dislikes the church... at least that's what I'm starting to believe.

My father loves fishing. So, my brother and I decided that we would charter a fishing boat for a trip on Lake Michigan for Father's Day for my dad. Greg and I also invited his dad along, since he was going to be up here.

Greg had his cortisone epidural on Tuesday and wasn't able to go on the trip. The PA originally said he would be able to go along, as long as he wasn't actually fishing. But the doctor said that she didn't want him on a rocking boat. Greg was upset, but we got his younger brother to come along.

I'm so glad that Greg didn't come along. The epidural helped him out, but if he had been on that boat, he would have been in some serious pain. It was a very rocky day. My dad, with his poor balance, didn't even stand up the entire trip. And he was too stubborn to accept help from anyone. And he got sick. In fact, everyone got seasick and threw up except me.

But... ( we did catch some fish! )

All in all, we caught 2 coho, 1 rainbow trout, and 5 steelheads. The captain of the boat said that this was actually a bad day... they usually average 12-15 fish per trip. We are thinking of taking one of their perching trips later this year.

I really want to go again... maybe with friends next time. Anyone like fishing and have $100 to spend on a charter?

Ummm... yeah. But, I am a paramedic. So, it kind of goes with the job.

Woke up late today to hear that Farrah Fawcett had died. And later, while surfing the net, I learn that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital in cardiac arrest.

Farrah didn't affect me much. We knew she had cancer. And she was more of an icon for those about 10 years older than I.

But Michael Jackson? His music had a serious impact on the soundtrack of my childhood. I remember listening to Thriller for the first time. I was 9 years old, living in a creaky old house in Missouri, sitting on the floor of my bedroom, with a thunderstorm outside. It kind of scared me, but thrilled me at the same time. See, I grew up in the 80s, before I had The Disney Channel there to tell me what sort of watered down rock music I was supposed to listen to. There's probably a reason I stopped listening to pop music in the late 80s.

There was something seriously wrong with Michael. He obviously had some mental issues that went undiagnosed for too long. And, because of a couple of greedy parents and the sensationalist media that loves tales of woe, we will never know the truth about the child-abuse allegations. But he was extremely talented and one hell of an entertainer.

I'm leading the Samhain ritual this year and I decided to start on the litany. I already have 59 names, and that only includes celebrities and local Pagans. And it's only JUNE! Ugh.

I need to go to bed. WAAAAAAYYYYY past bed time right now. I need to get up at 4:30 am. I think I want to listen to Ebony and Ivory before going to bed, though.

I want to make a round rag rug using a hoop. I have found quite a few websites that almost have instructions, but they all seem to assume that anyone attempting this technique is very familiar with weaving in general. In other words... not me.

Does anyone know how to do this or know of a good site or book to point me towards that will be easy for me to follow? I think I have the general idea, and I might just try to make it through trial and error.

A funny aside to this: I was telling The Partner about my plans to weave a circular rag rug using a hula hoop. He couldn't understand how I would be able to make it round. He kept insisting that it would turn out square whether I used a hula hoop or not. Maybe a bit oval at the ends, but definitely not round. Finally, I was able to decipher why he thought that. He figured that I would use the hula like a standard loom, attaching the initial strips vertically to the hoop and then weaving back and forth from bottom to top. o.O

Every now and then the police arrest somebody suspected of some terrible, violent crime, and as a piece of public relations they'll announce all of the horrible books, movies and/or CDs they found in the suspect's house, as if to prove that the suspect is obviously guilty and horrible and monstrous.

So here is my challenge to you. You can either do this from memory or take a moment to look through your book and music collections, and then answer this question:

Name ten books, CDs and/or movies that you own that the police would cite as evidence against you at their press conference.

1. Catcher in the Rye - (book) J.D. Salinger
2. Roger and Me - (movie) Michael Moore
3. Fareinheit 9/11 - (movie) Michael Moore
4. Sisters of the Dark Moon - (book) Gail Wood
5. Full Contact Magick - (book) Kerr Cuhulain
6. A Witch Alone - (book) Marian Green
7. Falling Down (movie)
8. Misfits CD
9. Necronomicon - (book) Simon
10. The Happy Mutant's Handbook - (book) Carla Sinclair et al


This was kind of hard. I have WAY too much stuff that the media would have a field day with. Stuff that proves that I am a freaky left-wing nut job. Possibly a cultist. A geek that lives a fantasy life and is just waiting to snap.

And of course, this list does not include stuff like weaponry (guns and blades), black candles, Tarot cards, polyhedron dice, various survivalist accouterments, or pornography (erotica).

And you know that they never actually read or even open any of the books. It's the covers that are interesting and scary. Who gives a damn what's inside.

Christian group sues for right to burn book

I'm a bit conflicted. I do believe that they have the right to burn the books, as long as they are burning their own copies (that they have bought!). However... book-burning is so wrong.

I am also puzzled as to how a book in the library can cause harm to others. No one is making them read it. No one is forcing them to buy it (unless, of course, they want to burn it). And they can restrict their own kids from reading. It can't cause irreparable mental and emotional damage if they don't even open it.

I am slightly amused that they find the term faggot as derogatory to all men. Makes me wonder why and how often they have been slandered with that word.

I think these people must have the same mentality as those who tried to ban Huck Finn because it was racist. I have always believed that those people were really put off by a story of friendship between blacks and whites.

We're settled in as best we can. We're going to sleep in shifts and I lucked out and get to go to bed first. We all just have sleeping bags on the floor, like a grown-up sleepover. Not comfortable, but we are ready to move at a moment's notice. I have my father's .45 under my pillow.

Still no word from tdstraitjacket's parents. They're probably at church praying for an end to this. I just hope Hank Sr took his 50 cal Desert Eagle with him. God may provide shelter in the storm, but you can't count on his aim with lightning.

Haven't heard from my parents. They weren't at the house when I was patrolling in the ambulance when this day began. I tried to call their cells, but it kept going to voice mail. I'm not holding out much hope.

I miss tdstraitjacket. I miss my cats. I will miss my job (sorry, it's a bit too soon to care that much.... and I really did need a vacation!).

But, for now.... I need some rest. My shift starts in a few hours, and I don't want to be groggy.

FUCK! We forgot the Red Bull. How the hell am I supposed to fight Zombies without Red Bull?

Ah well. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the zombies bite!

What.

The.

Hell?

We just pulled up to Wayne's cabin to find him leading the kids in a rousing dance of ring around the rosie ON TOP OF THE BODIES OF HIS STEPMOTHER AND HER KIDS!!!!

Well, the kids seem to be enjoying themselves.

And the alleged origins are pretty gruesome anyway. LOL

So my brother-in-law Chuck won't give us any guns or ammo from his shop. Fucking ass. He thinks I killed tdstraitjacket on purpose. I mean, really? He's never liked me and now that tdstraitjacket is gone, he has no reason to pretend.

Right now we have two ambulances for transportation. I would like to get them better fortified, but light is fading and we need to get the duck out of Fodge... as the saying goes. Wayne's dad used to have a cabin down in Kentland. Knowing his step-monster and her ilk, there's probably nobody down there. That's where we're heading. It's easily fortified. Lots of game for food. And away from fucking people.

I tried calling the rest of tdstraitjacket's family. Can't get in touch with his parents. His little brother is with his in-laws, but he might come and join us. Hank's also not talking to me. He's got some idea that Pagans have something to do with this.

We're stocking up the rigs now. Have lots of medical supplies, camping gear, weaponry, and food. I don't know if I will have internet access again once we leave. I will use my Blackberry to update Twitter as much as possible. Until I run out of battery or lose a signal.

At least I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

I'm down in Crown Point. I'm with kristress, the Kid,